īut Chu got his money's worth from the actors, who dive into their parts as if there's an Academy Award for chewing scenery. The Joes are on the run, hide in a ghetto, are helped by a turncoat Cobra operative and. It's a shape-shifting master of disguise named Zartan, who works for Cobra. After saving the world twice - from North Korea and Pakistan, naturally - the president ( Jonathan Pryce) orders an ambush to frame the Joes, but it's not really the president. Joe team, who carry out missions with a fourth-grader's knowledge of world politics. Roadblock (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and Duke (Channing Tatum) are leaders in the elite G.I. How can something fail when it appears to accomplish everything it sets out to do?Īs much as we'd like to skip this part, Film Criticism 101 says we should at least try to explain the plot.
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Joe" movie from 2009 look like "Platoon" by comparison. Joe: Retaliation" a bad movie? Not if you like bad guys who control swarms of exploding robotic fireflies - except, of course, for the ones shot down by bullets or ninja stars. How else to explain a motorcycle that fires machine guns, gets launched into the air, and breaks apart into missiles while the driver parachutes to safety? How else to explain a smoking hot Joe who finds a box of old computer parts in an abandoned community center, and in a few hours starts hacking military databases? How else to explain 20 or so ninjas dressed in red leather cat suits fighting while rappelling on the side of an ice mountain? Joe dolls to a 9-year-old, watched him play for 110 minutes, and then shot a scene-for-scene remake. The filmmakers appear to have handed a dozen or so G.I.
Joe movie: Take a completely straightforward approach, or make fun of the franchise with tongue-in-cheek satire. History says there are two ways for Hollywood to handle something like a G.I. Starring Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis.